calendar marked: ostend

i was driving to cora, a giant grocery store in france that you must visit, with my mom and another lady we work with. she was telling us how a group of people we know from work were going to ostend in may and how we should join them. i was down. i never say no to a trip. or a carride. or a beach.

so. we've officially booked our trip to ostend, belgium. memorial day weekend shall be filled with sailboats, cathedrals, one fluffy dog, lighthouses, seafood, and, of course, being a beach bum with the group.

also, brugge, belgium is only thirty minutes from this city so we're planning a little trip there on the drive back home. how convenient is that? 

all my love,

E

zugzwang

"stop being weird. stop. stop. stop."
"are you jumping up and down screaming stop?"
"possibly. would it help?"
"maybe a tad."

i tried pushing theo out of my life a little bit. he went off and got himself into one of those relationship things by way of chocolate covered strawberries. i didn't see how we could still be us while that's going down. the best friends us. the no worries us. the no boundaries us. the only us i've known.

you know, the talking well past midnight about pointless matters just to talk. teasing each other because one is too cocky and the other a tad blonde. spinning around until i'm too dizzy to stand. pinky promise? pinky promise. hey your mom still owes me a home-cooked meal. loungy clothes and netflix. blaming each other for the horrible netflix choice (for the record, that pointless, horrible movie was his fault). blanket and pillow fights. really good hugs. the ones that blanket you in comfort. the let-me-come-over-because-life-just-got-really-confusing-for-a-second nights. and sometimes just swallowing feelings because talking is too hard. and letting me rest my head on his chest because it feels safe. and realizing how slow his heartbeat really is. just like he said. and falling asleep listening to its beat.

he says we can still be us. with lines. but that's not us. he says we can still have our talks, the smiles and hugs. but the hugs are weaker and the conversations are different. everything is wary.

i thought i'd try to distance myself from him before he had a chance to disappear altogether. i thought if i was the one who took him out of my life, it wouldn't hurt as bad. as if it were somehow my choice - something i wanted. but, eventually, i think it may hurt either way.

zugzwang.

"i would never hurt you. and i won't be cool with you cutting me out."
"i don't want to cut you out. i don't want to get hurt."
"well you're doing the former."
"because i don't want the latter."

even so, i've failed in all my attempts to push him away. kind of like he said i would. acting aloof isn't my forte. but, in all honestly, i don't want to lose this kid so i'm not sure i mind that i'm failing. and i kind of like that he's fighting to stay. he makes life a little better and who am i to act like that doesn't mean something to me.

"goodnight em."
"i'm sorry. goodnight t."

all my love,
E

summer 2015 travel list

because one day i will have leave, i will have money, and i will have time. and that one day better come sometime this summer because this girl has travel GOALS!

- budapest, hungary

to be honest, i never really paid budapest any attention until i was talking to one of our coaches at work about his failed travel plans. he was going on about how his girlfriend had gone psycho and he broke up with her, she took it pretty hard, yadda yadda yadda...and the trip they had planned to budapest was now going to waste. but while he was doing that, i was thinking, "why the heck budapest? no wonder that relationship went down the tubes. take me to paris." i looked up budapest when i got home anyway. uhm, it's kind of gorgeous. i want to go. 

- paris, france

yeah, i've been here a few times. but never in the summertime. and i want to go. and so what if i've been before. paris is never a bad idea, right? right. audrey hepburn said it herself. paris is always a good idea. wise woman that audrey. let's follow her advice. also, let's go to disney while we're there.

- edinburgh, scotland

the sweet, old lady in the family history center told me my mother's side of the family came from scotland and england. i feel that is justification enough to take a trip to edinburgh. it looks lovely in photos. i bet it's even more beautiful in person, yeah?

- dresden, germany

i think it's crazy that i've lived in germany for thirteen years and haven't been to dresden. everyone says it's one of the best cities in germany. there's also a really pretty castle right outside of the city. i'm making it a goal to visit both places.

- prague, czech republic

uhm, i have an addiction to prague. i can't shake it. it's my all time favorite place in europe. i want to go back asap. i want to eat bagels every morning and walk across the st. charles bridge listening to all of the music. i want to eat chimney cakes and fresh made chips. i want to ride a horse and carriage around town and watch little kids chase giant bubbles in the old town square. i want to take pictures of the bridges from the castle and check out all of the royal guards as they stand oh so serious. and i also want to find a non-sketchy hotel this time so i don't get scared at four in the morning because of the crazies outside.

- cinque terre, italy

just look at that picture. who wouldn't want to visit this place? i'm thoroughly jealous of my friends that have been and post such amazing pictures. it's hard to believe places like this exist. it looks like a dream. and i bet there's some amazing pizza and gelato up in those towns.

- bruges, belgium

i'm told brugge is like the venice of belgium. and i liked venice. so why wouldn't i like the venice of belgium? it's also only thirty minutes from a beach we're visiting in may so i think the opportunity to visit will surely be there. everyone that goes here talks about how beautiful it is. it's my turn to find out.

- grindelwald, switzerland

yes, this place is picture perfect but what i really want to do here is go ziplining. like really bad. some of our camp adventure counselors are there this weekend doing just that and i can't wait until work next week so i can hear all about it. imagine the view as you're coming down off the mountain. ohmuhguh, i bet it's great. 

- amsterdam, the netherlands

amanda and i got in a deep (but maybe not so deep) conversation about the difference between the netherlands and holland. and we've decided that it's the same thing. we say holland when referring to the tulip fields and we say the netherlands when we talk about any other city. just a fun fact. but, yes, i want to visit amsterdam because i think it's kind of sad that i haven't yet. it's so close. and i've always wanted to visit the anne frank house. it has to happen before the end of the summer.

- cornwall, england

momma bear and i are already planning our summer trip here. she and my dad grew up in cornwall, new york so of course we have to visit cornwall, england. the england version looks a lot more picturesque than the new york version. but the new york version doesn't really stand a fair chance with it being neighbors with newburgh and all, does it? anyway, i'm super stoked for this trip. there are beaches everywhere. you can take surfing lessons if you want. which i don't want to. and there's a place where you can rent a donkey and take it for a walk. i actually want to do that because how often are you given the opportunity to take a donkey for a walk? not often. i shall name him jack.

now, if you'll excuse me, i have to go vacuum out my car so theo doesn't get dog hair (not even from my dog) on his behind when i pick him up from the airport tomorrow. because he actually had time to travel this weekend. whatever.

all my love,
E

prague

prague is my absolute favorite european city. it's small enough to get around on foot but big enough to still be an adventure. and it has everything. amazing food, amazing views, amazing shops. seriously. prague doesn't disappoint.

i've been twice already. the first time was during the fall. it was pretty rainy but even with the rain we had a good time. and there's a starbucks on every corner so it's pretty easy to warm up with a hot chocolate whenever you feel like it.

the second time i went was during the summertime. it was just my mother and i. we had a blast. we stayed at a harley davidson themed hotel right in wenceslas square. need i say more? we're so cool.

our first day, we stayed close to our hotel and ate at the hard rock cafe, of course. our second day, we went out and saw the rest of the city. we found a bagel place called 'bohemian bagels' near the john lennon wall. they had the best bagel french toast. which i didn't even know existed. but i'm glad it does. we wrote a review for them on tripadvisor. that says a lot. this was also the day i fell in love with the st. charles bridge. there's just so much to see when walking over it. you have musicians, artists, vendors, everything. there were a group of people around my age playing covers of coldplay and matchbox twenty. i could have stayed and listened for hours. every time you crossed the bridge, there were new groups performing. so great. we also found a little farmer's market. i'm obsessed with fresh fruit and they had the best. i nearly ate my weight in peaches and cherries. an obvious highlight of the trip. we ate at TGIFs that night. that's what happens when you live overseas for so long. you eat at american restaurants in the czech republic. beware.

on our third day, we made the trek back to the bagel place for breakfast then went up to the castle. after checking out the guards (yeah, we did) we slowly walked back towards the town square. the views were amazing. prague is just gorgeous. so many people talk about how dirty and old it is but they're on crack. of course it's old. what european city isn't old? and as for dirty...it's not. i've never seen a city kept so clean. there are so many workers out there sweeping up trash and keeping the streets looking nice. prague deserves an award for its cleanliness.

during the night of our third day, i woke up to a man happily exclaiming to his friend outside, "i found it! i found my shoe!" i didn't take part in the nightlife here but i think it's safe to assume it's pretty fun.

the next morning we had to leave. but not before picking up some bagels to bring home, of course. we woke up crazy early to make sure that errand was completed. we're true new yorkers. bagels > sleep.

just go here. and bring me with you. i know where TGIFs is.

all my love,
E