budapest, hungary

boo-da-pessh-t

that's how they say budapest in hungarian. interesting, yeah?  yeah.

after a 14 hour bus ride from germany to hungary, we could finally see our first glimpse of budapest. we rode over the chain bridge to our hotel and i couldn't get over how pretty it all was. budapest reminds me a lot of prague. a larger, busier, business-y version of prague.

budapest was preparing for an airshow/ air race while we were in town. they had shut down the chain bridge for a period of time as the planes were racing down the river. above, you can see the river all set up for the event. it was so cool watching the planes race over the bridge and up into loops and such. 

below is one of my favorite pictures from the trip. you can see the budapest eye (the giant ferris wheel) on the right. i heard it has amazing views from the top and it's worth a trip around at night. i wasn't able to go because i was traveling with someone who is deathly afraid of ferris wheels. hey, mom. i talked her onto the london eye when we went to london once. that was fun. if you've ever wondered if the panic buttons inside the capsules on that ferris wheel are ever used, you should travel with my mother. you're in for an experience.

budapest became one of our favorite cities instantly. there's so much to see and do. plus they have a hard rock cafe. i'm glad i was able to take a trip here. and it may be hard to believe but it was worth the 14 hours on the bus for sure.

all my love,
E

laughing 'til we cry

let's rewind to april of 2011.

my mom was dropping me off for my first semester of college. of course, my best friend was in tow. great times were had. lots of fro-yo, apartment shopping, catan, corndogs, mall hopping, food in general, laughing, hotel shenanigans, judging rexburg, etc. but, in the back of my head was the thought that i wasn't going home with my momma bear. it was a thought that snuck to the surface of my mind occasionally throughout the week but was pushed back to where i needed it to be as soon as i felt it coming. i didn't want to let the feelings show.

the day came for momma to leave and i still wasn't letting myself feel bad about it. we decided to go to lunch before she and amanda left. i remember exactly what i ordered. taco salad. i remember i was staring at the sliced olives on top when my mom said something funny. i laughed. i laughed hard. i laughed so hard there were tears. then i realized i wasn't laughing anymore. i was sobbing. it was like i let so much of a feeling out of its box that they all decided they had to come out together or they'd never get another chance. i was a mess.

that had never happened to me before. and i'll never forget it. it was the first time i cried in public (not counting the baby years) and it was the first time all of those repressed feelings came surging up demanding to be felt at once. it was the first time i felt the flood gates burst open.

now let's fast forward into 2015.

you'd think i would have learned that feelings cannot be left unfelt. but i didn't. they still pile up in that place i send them & a lot has piled up in that place over this past year. a lot. i knew the feelings would need to come out eventually but i've been waving them off not wanting to deal.

then came june.

i had an orthodontist appointment to get an expander put in my mouth. there is no longer room for my own tongue in there. this makes talking near impossible. nobody understands what i'm trying to say when i talk. it's embarrassing.

after my appointment, my mom and i were talking in the car when i tried telling her about something that i had seen on instagram. instagram. do you know how hard of a word that is to say when there isn't room in your mouth to say it? hard. my mom asked me to repeat what i had said twice before we just started laughing over my pathetic efforts. we laughed hard. too hard.

and the tears started pouring. again. only this time i let it happen. i didn't try to stop it. i knew too much had built up over this past year, the past week really, to even try to stop it. the flood gates were opened and i wasn't going to try and shut them. i needed this.

i cried because i can't go home.
i cried because i miss the crickets and fireflies.
i cried for the family i lost.
i cried because i bit off more than i could chew.
i cried over the confusion.
i cried for the guy who said he wouldn't hurt me.
i cried for all of the broken promises.
i cried because my grandmother doesn't remember who i am.
i cried because of my selfishness.
i cried out of the guilt for the pain i caused others with my own reckless decisions.

"em. stop crying. the gate guard is going to think you're crazy."

all my love,
E

keeping cool with a former barista

i used to be a pro coffee drinker. i also used to be a professional coffee drink maker. like it was literally my job. thank you, cinnabon.

so the other day, when i was scrolling through facebook and i saw that someone had posted "copycat starbucks (bottled) vanilla frappuccino" that had an odd recipe, i was like. no. who is doing this? stop.

there's no need to put sugar in with coffee, milk, vanilla extract and cocoa powder. don't do it. there's an easier way. you just need espresso, milk, and ice. if you want a flavor, just buy the flavored syrup from the grocery store.

so you want a bottled vanilla starbucks frappuccino? check this out.
fill a glass or, ahem, camelbak (i was this person) with ice. fill it until theres only two inches left in the glass with milk. put one or two shots of espresso in the glass depending on how strong you want it & two pumps of vanilla syrup. it's perfect. it's fast. and it's easy.

you want an iced mocha?
same recipe only skip the vanilla syrup and use chocolate syrup instead. or white chocolate syrup. that stuff is good.

you want an iced latte?
same recipe. hold the syrup.

iced caramel macchiato?
same recipe. instead of vanilla, use caramel sauce or caramel flavored syrup.

and if you don't have an espresso machine? fill half of the bottle or glass with coffee, then add milk and the syrup. it's so simple.

share the knowledge because there's some poor soul out there sifting 5 tbsp of cocoa powder into 1.5 cups of coffee, 6 cups of milk, 4 tsp of vanilla extract, and a half cup of sugar. who even uses measuring cups anymore? oh, and they're gonna have to wait to drink it because "refrigerate before serving." and it only tastes the best when it's fresh. how inconvenient. save them.

all my love,
E